It’s time for a new feature: Ridiculous Food Product of the Week! Today, courtesy of the tip from Blake, I am proud to present:
Jimmy Dean: Pancakes & Sausage on a Stick: Blueberry (Artificially Flavored)
(Yes, that is the official title on its product page). Is it fair for me to mock this food without having tried it firsthand? Yes. I think even the food snobs out there can agree that it is likely this product tastes really good, as long as you don’t look at the list of ingredients beforehand:
PANCAKE BATTER INGREDIENTS:
- ENRICHED BLEACHED FLOUR:
- WHEAT FLOUR
- NIACIN
- IRON
- THIAMINE MONONITRATE
- RIBOFLAVIN
- FOLIC ACID
- WATER
- SUGAR
- ENRICHED WHEAT FLOUR:
- WHEAT FLOUR
- NIACIN
- IRON
- THIAMINE MONONITRATE
- RIBOFLAVIN
- FOLIC ACID
- ARTIFICIAL FLAVORED BLUEBERRY BITS:
- INVERT SUGAR
- SUGAR
- WATER
- WHEAT FLOUR:
- BLEACHED
- NIACIN
- IRON
- THIAMINE MONONITRATE
- RIBOFLAVIN
- FOLIC ACID
- ALGIN
- POTASSIUM SORBATE: AS A PRESERVATIVE
- ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR
- FD&C RED DYE NO.
- FD&C BLUE DYE NO.1
- CONTAINS 2% OR LESS OF THE FOLLOWING:
- PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED SOYBEAN AND COTTONSEED OIL
- NATURAL & ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR
- SALT
- DEXTROSE
- LEAVENING:
- SODIUM ACID PYROPHOSPHATE
- SODIUM BICARBONATE
- DRIED EGG YOLK
- SOY LECITHIN
- SOYBEAN OIL
- NONFAT DRY MILK
- COOKED IN VEGETABLE OIL: CONTAINS ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING
- CORN OIL
- COTTONSEED OIL
- PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED SOYBEAN OIL
SAUSAGE LINK INGREDIENTS:
- PORK
- WATER
- SUGAR
- CONTAINS 2% OR LESS OF THE FOLLOWING
- SODIUM LACTATE
- SALT
- DEXTROSE
- SODIUM PHOSPHATES
- SPICES
- NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL MAPLE FLAVOR WITH:
- MALTODEXTRIN
- MODIFIED FOOD STARCH
- CARAMEL COLOR
- DEXTROSE
- MAPLE SYRUP
- MONOSODIUM GLUTAMATE
- SODIUM DIACETATE
- FLAVORINGS
That all looks well and good to me, I have just a few questions:
- What is Invert Sugar?
- Why did you mention that Potassium Sorbate is used specifically as a preservative? Are there other ways of using it? And if so, wouldn’t it just show up in the ingredient list all the same?
- You’re not sure what combination of oils you cooked the pancake batter in? Is that because it happens to be whichever was cheapest on the day you deep fried my pancake & sausage on a stick?
- Why aren’t blueberries an ingredient?
- Regarding the sausage, what are “spices”? What about “flavorings”?
- Why is maple syrup the 5th (and final) ingredient in the maple flavor?
- Now that you mention it, why is the maple flavor built into the sausage and not the pancake?
- Is your spell check broken? Mine detects 5 unknown words in your list of ingredients.
Like I said, these things are pretty much guaranteed to taste wonderful. Otherwise, why would they have 3 other products in that same line? But, you don’t need to take my word for it, they have a testimonial right there on the page:
Dear Jimmy DeanAt diners, I always eat a bite of sausage with a bite of pancake, but this is even better – I mean, it’s on a stick! Thanks for making something so fun to eat.–James, Salem, MA
(Yes, the testimonial is real, I did not make it up. And no, it doesn’t appear to have been used as a joke.)
So my fellow readers, eat up - you won’t even need a napkin - it’s on a stick! I don’t mean to be too harsh on Jimmy Dean, after all they donate money to Second Harvest (though not food for some strange reason). Note the fat kid in the picture. At least they are realistic about the impact of their products!
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It looks like two of those flapsticks have got the pox. What are those supposed to be? Blueberries?
HA! This is hilarious! Man - if only these were available when I was growing up as a latchkey kid eating fruity pebbles after school! Looking forward to more ridiculous food products.
Thanks for the comment–you have a point! Good thing companies have to label their ingredients…your site is great.
Yes, I saw this in the freezer aisle and thought wow, we have sunk to a new low!! They should just call it “Morning Nitrates”.
“Morning Nitrates”…ha! For all you entrepreneurs out there, that phrase is ripe for the picking on Google. This post is already the #4 result!
Hilarious post! Thanks for the link to my site. This post has inspired me to look for more ridiculous food products. One that comes to mind right away is “Chicken in a Biskit” Crackers: http://www.nabiscoworld.com/Brands/ProductInformation.aspx?BrandKey=flavororiginals&Site=1&Product=4400000189
I also heard that Spam is selling like crazy due to the slow economy. Might be interesting to think about how the economy affects people’s food choices and whether or not it really should.