Before scrolling down, think to yourself for a moment. Uncrustable. It’s an odd word to use to describe a food product, right? What could it be? I’ll save you the guesswork.
Yes, apparently making PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY sandwiches is too much trouble for parents in today’s go-go world. What they need is for someone else to make the sandwiches, freeze them ahead of time, ship them across the country wrapped in plastic and cardboard where they can be kept safely fresh in a supermarket freezer, hurried home (so they don’t thaw!) by said parent (who is too busy to spend 15 seconds making a fresh sandwich, but apparently has time to do their own grocery shopping and locate this product in the frozen foods section?) and then withdrawn from the home freezer when the time is right (weeks or months down the line, because obviously if the need was for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch tomorrow, they’d just make a fresh one, right?).
From their site:
Simply keep them in the freezer, then pack them in your lunch in the morning. By lunchtime, UncrustablesÂ® are thawed and ready to eat.
Smuckers found a need that didn’t exist, and provided a solution. Or maybe I am wrong and there are millions of school children opening their lunchboxes each day saying: “Oh man, my PB&J is stale AGAIN!”?
If you still aren’t swayed, take a look at the ingredients:
- ENRICHED UNBLEACHED FLOUR
- WHEAT FLOUR
- MALTED BARLEY FLOUR
- REDUCED IRON
- THIAMIN MONONITRATE
- FOLIC ACID
- HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP
- PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED SOYBEAN OIL AND/OR SOYBEAN OIL
- CONTAINS 2% OR LESS OF:
- WHEAT GLUTEN
- DOUGH CONDITIONERS - MAY CONTAIN ONE OR MORE OF: (apparently they aren’t sure which ones they used)
- DIACETYL TARTARIC ESTERS OF MONO AND DIGLYCERIDES (DATEM)
- MONO AND DIGLYCERIDES
- ETHOXYLATED MONO AND DIGLYCERIDES
- SODIUM STEAROYL LACTYLATE
- CALCIUM PEROXIDE (which is used as an oxygen fertilizer and “For all practical purposes calcium peroxide is insoluble in water” according to wikipedia)
- ASCORBIC ACID
- YEAST NUTRIENTS - MAY CONTAIN ONE OR MORE OF
- MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE
- CALCIUM SULFATE
- AMMONIUM SULFATE (also commonly used as a fertilizer)
- CALCIUM PROPIONATE (MAINTAIN FRESHNESS)
- ENZYMES (WITH WHEAT)
- PEANUT BUTTER:
- SELECT ROASTED PEANUTS
- VEGETABLE MONOGLYCERIDES (FROM PALM OIL)
- STRAWBERRY JAM:
- HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP
- CORN SYRUP
- CITRIC ACID
- POTASSIUM SORBATE ADDED AS A PRESERVATIVE
Thankfully, strawberries are the first ingredient of the jam! Sadly, the next three ingredients are sugar. Has anyone ever tried these? Word on the street is they taste like PB&J without the bread. Heavy on the jelly.
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